"There are those who would rather shake the Devil by the tail...

You know you have.

Don't deny it.

SO. I watched this movie, right? Called "Being John Malkovich"? Yeah, y'know, that actor guy?

Here's what the story is about:
A puppeteer and his co-worker discover a tunnel that allows others to enter the mind and body of the actor John Malcovich for fifteen minutes, after which one falls down onto the side of the New Jersey turnpike.

I just BS'd that summary up, using the basis of the summary on the TV, but yeah >_>

Odd, no?

Oh, yes.

It was VERY odd.

See, like.. I thought that's all it would be about? But IT WASN'T, exactly. There's this bizarre love quadratriangle goin' on, y'see.

The main guy is Craig (John Cusack) and his wife is Lotte (Cameron Diaz) and this lady, Maxine (Catherine Keener) that works with Craig on the seventh and a half floor of their office building.

Yes, you heard me, seventh and a half. Inbetween the seventh and eigth floors. The ceiling is short, and people need to walk through it with their backs hunched over ._. Supposedly the Irish guy who built the building wanted to make a place built for his midget wife, since she proclaims the world isn't made for shorties :X

So Craig finds the tunnel behind a set of drawers in his workspace, goes through the door and down the dirty tunnel, and is suddenly whisked away by a gust of wind into John Malkovich's head. So he's seeing what John Malkovich is seeing :U

Tells Maxine 'cause he likes her like the "I WANT TO GET IN YOUR PAAAAANNTTSSS" kind of like, and she goes "YOU CRAZY" then believes him, and they market off the tunnel to people for 200 dollars. To go inside John Malkovich's head :o

His wife, Lotte, wants to get in JM's head before all that though, and does so and realizes she wants to be a transexual and developes a lesbian love for Maxine :U Of course Craig's all "NO WIFE O' MINE'S BEIN' NO TRANSEXUAL" not in those words though, but you get the point <_<

So the NEXT time Lotte gets inside LM's head, Maxine comes for a date with LM and Maxine can tell that Lotte's in his head and she's all "I LOV YOU BUT ONLY WHEN YOU'RE JOHN MALKOVICH~"

I'm going to summarize it up swiftly, though, otherwise I'll be pointing out every single thing >_>

Business starts, sex happens, Craig goes nutty 'cause he digs Maxine, locks his wife in the cage with her pet monkey, JM finds out about the sick mind game people are playing with him and goes inside HIS own mind and he hops into a world where everyone looks like him (yes, even the women and children) and everyone says "Malkovich" and that's it when they talk, Craig gets in JM's head to dig it with Maxine but Maxine thinks that it's Lotte inside JM, and then when she finds out, she likes Craig better-ish (I think?) Blah blah blah, Craig takes compelte control of JM because he's a "puppeteer" and is powerful in that aspect, eight months later when him and Maxine are married, Maxine is preggers and gets kidnapped by these old people who discovered they could live forever using "vessels" which are the people (AKA Malkovich) who enter inside their minds and repeat the process, and Lotte gets in on the deal, only when they begin to get inside JM's head who WAS occupied by Craig, but he was bribed out of it, because the old people threatened him with prospect of murdering his wife if he didn't high-tail his butt out of JM's head, Lotte and Maxine have a happy ending together when Maxine tells Lotte that the baby is hers because she got pregnant when Lotte was in JM's head, Craig is a wasted mess on the Jersey turnpike with a plank of wood annnnnd the oldies get their place inside JM's head, then seven years later find their new "vessel" in the little girl Emily, daughter of Lotte and Maxine :)

Yeaaahhhh, it was VERY strange, but I recommend it 8D Especially if you have no idea what I just said up there :3

OHYEAH, and I never put lyrics up here and was never PLANNING it, but these lyrics are like... WTF. So ABSURD. And I'm not even trying to make a pun XD;

Fluke- Absurd

King Kong, in Cannes, on a date with Spiderman.
Dan Dar's sitting there, scared by the killer teddy bears. (I used to think it said "scared by the color of tye-dyed bears")
Down town, Mini mouse is slippin Micky's in the famous grouse,
while big bird spreads the word (this is the only line I could understand XD;)
Anybody with a heart votes love. (used to think it said "Anybody with a high votes low >_>;;)
Judge Dredd, found dead, face down in Snoopy's bed.
Outside, Tweetie Pie's getting itchy on more supplies.
Meanwhile, Snow White gets ready for work tonight,
turning tricks with crystal tips.
Trying to make the best of it's absurd.
Puppy dogs and pussy cats in suspect suicide attacks.
Captain Kirk from Planet Earth, fights it out with Papa Smurf
Some phoney little ponies, preying on old and lonely,
making friends, robbing them
The X men taught them everything.
Betty Boop, tired of life, took vows,
became a bride of Christ
While Tin Tin's been playing at Caesar's palace live on ice.
Babar Kumbayahs with the mighty Morphin movie stars,
as big bird spreads the word
Anybody with a heart votes love.

Are those not the strangest lyrics you've ever heard? And the music video is very odd, too :U

OHYEAH, and I just looked up the movie online? And the POSTER for it? FREAKY o_o HERE IT IS:

Creepy, no?

...kbai.