"There are those who would rather shake the Devil by the tail...

LOL, Martin Scorsese.

Now, I bet you're wondering why I lol at him. And I will tell you why. YOU SEEEEEE.. My Aunt Lizzy, her boyfriend Patrick (Whose downfall I'm planning very slowly and carefully so as to not make his demise unpainful....), Uncle Tommy, and my cousin Megan came over for CHRISTMAS YAAY (speaking of which, happy Kwanzukamas :D) which was rather PHUNNNNN. Okay, so, Megan gets here on last THURSDAY, with my aunt's boyfriend ('cause they all came kinda separated ._.) and and ANNNND, so since my Nana's house kind of sucks (notreally, I like it, but nobody else does :X) they all came over MY house :3 And got drunk. Tipsy. Buzzed. Whatever. But I think they had a little too many Magner's, Dos Equis, Budweiser, Bud Light, Rolling Rock, ect.... Alright, I'll esplain a bit >_>

NOT EVERYONE WAS TIPSY, I wasn't, of course. Although I did try many a time again in futile effort to get a drink by holding up my glass whenever so-and-so would come over with the wine bottle to refill everyone's drinks. Pop was fine, Uncle Tommy was fine (even though, days before everyone else came over, I kept calling him a gluttonous drunk because all I would see him drinking is Dos Equis) MA was a little "WHOOOOO" herself D: She kept complaining about a headache and I kept trying to drag her off to bed so she could rest but she'd always be, "OH NO NO, UNO MOAR DREENK, YIS...."

But MEGAN.... Oh, boy, Megan @_@ Her and Aunt Lizzy both (mother and daughter, they is) Theys was OUTTA CONTROL YA'LL. Which brings us to the Martin Scorsese bit. 

I must've spaced out during all of the madness, because before I know it, Megan is claiming that Martin Scorsese is dead, when we all know that he's very much alive; fuzzy black caterpillar eyebrows and all.  And we all keep trying to tell her that, "DUDE, HE'S ALIVE STOP DENYING THE TRUTH D:<" then after like, ten minutes of that, there's this bizarre pause and Megan goes, "...Maybe it's someone else that's dead" and we're all, "DUHHH XDDD" So, we's chatting and shizz and Aunt Lizzy goes, "HEYHEY YOU GIRL NIECE-THING YOU COULD DO A DOCUMENTARY ON US XD". Then I go, "OH YEAH SURE :DDD" Then I procede to do a reinactment of our Martin Scorsese discussion. 

Then a beautiful concert was performed, curtosy of Megan and Aunt Lizzy; "Slurred Movement in Drunken C Minor" It was a sight to behold, and a joy to listen to (if you had heavy-duty earplugs in). Megan's majestic introduction by twittling the several most bottom and most top notes was a work of pure genius, and Aunt Lizzy's skill of performing deafening ballades with her eyes compeltely averted from the piano was astounding. Then it's only natural that a picture or two had to be taken of this timeless performence, and Patrick was up for the task. But his efforts were futile, as the Drunken Duo were nto satisfied with not one of his pictures. It was either one looked shitty, the other one fine (or vise versa) or they both looked like two mis-shapen hoboes. Then Pop was next to attempt to capture the magnifience of the Tipsy Two at work. He failed. Hard. I was then assigned with this seemingly impossible task and this is no exaggeration: the camera kept shutting off from low battery every thirty seconds, there was only space enough to hold one picture, so each picture that failed to show the greatness of Megan and Aunt Lizzy had to be immediatly deleted, followed by the camera shutting off, then having to turn it back on... and rinse and repeat. There's a slim chance any successful picture was taken.

Nearing the end, I finally convince ma to go to bed on the condition that I go with her, too. I get changed and then go back in the kitchen to wish everyone a good (and drunk) night (except Patrick D:<) and kindly call them all drunks. Aunt Lizzy challenges me at my statement, walking in a perfectly straight line in order to back this up. I challenge Megan to do the same, she attempts to walk in a straight line along one of the lines in the kitchen floor, swaying from side to side in the most obvious gestures. I kindly point this out to her and when she reaches me, she strikes.

Now, Megan is a very tall person. I mean, TALL. Like, "DAAAANNNG GIIRRLLL, SHAQUILL O'NEIL UNDER THAT WOMANLY FIGURE?" So, when she throws her body against yours, jams your throat into her shoulder and pushes you along backwards in a stumble down a hallway and onto a bed, one might become a little unsettled. Feel my pain. So, not only does she do that, she's spitting out friendly, joking insults (at least, I didn't hear any cuss words) and adds injury to insult by beating me with my slipper. Thankfully, Aunt Lizzy came in to restrain her.

But it was fun, after realize that NO, this was not going to be my last night on God's good Earth.

The next day, early in the morning, Ma calls Uncle Tommy in order to report the sad news of Martin Scorsese's passing last night. And he believed her.

The day following that, I told my mother late in the afternoon that Martin Scorsese had gone off to a better place in the sky earlier that morning.

Heeheeheehee...

(LOL, on a side note, I took a picture of my Uncle Tommy's Dos Equis ((alcoholic beverage, if you hadnt already figured that out by now)) and since his phone is nifty, I figured out you could put an icon picture for your contacts people, and since I already took a picture of the same kind of drink and put it as his wallpaper LAST YEAR, I did the aforementioned icon-contact person thingie. So, when my Uncle clicks on my contact name, a minituarized picture of Dos Equis will appear alongside my name :DDD lolzes, then I put Dos Equis as his banner, and it still worked even though there was no picture of said beer, 'cause he had a picture of me and Megan, so we could be his "Two Xs" ((Dos Equis means Two Xs, not Two Horses. Tis Spanish. Don't make the same mistake I did and says it's Two Horses.)), lol, 'cause we're his only two nieces~ OH, and I also had to pimp his Cheez-it sized iPod shuffle. I put the songs he wanted on there and added a few bonuses... which includes the Hamsterdance... nyahahahah >:3 ANYWAY....)

OH YEAH CHIRSTMAS YESSSS. i got an Xbox 360 WHOOOOOO :o My parents were very happy that I only wanted one thing for Christmas (I don't ask fer a lot, anyway stfu), the couple games I wanted were provided by various relatives. I also got these kick-ass sweatpants - which I'm wearing now - from my older half-sister, Chrissy. I gave her my love :D My other, OLDERER half-sister was absent on Christmas day DDDDD: OHYEAHTHEGAMESIGOT <3

Wellz, the xbox 360 I gots came with two free games, a racing one and then this Marvel thingie (have yet to play either), then the games I asked for are as follows: Bioshock, Mass Effect, Panzer Dragoon (an original xbox game, so it was a cheapy used one, but in good condition so yay :D BUT I CANT PLAY IT BECAUSE APPARENTLY MY XBOX 360 NEEDS TO BE UPDATED VIA XBOX LIVE WHICH I CANNOT FIGURE OUT, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, HOW TO SET UP, IN ORDER FOR SAID ACTION TO BE PERFORMED D:< ) there were two other original xbox games I wantsed, but could not be obtained, Psychonauts and Jet Set Radio Future, but pfft whatever. I could find them on ebay fer like, three bucks :o), The Orange Box, and Eternal Sonata :3 And I got The Golden Compass, which was entirely unwanted and will probably never be played, but appreciated nontheless. Eternal Sonata is so sexy. It's what I've been playing mostlys. It's an ARR PEE GEE that takes place inside the fervered dreams of Frederic Francois Chopin (famed composer and pianist of the Romantic Era, I do believe, whose music pwnz.) as he lies on his deathbed. And you get to play as him, along with many other wonderfully colorful characters. If that's not trippy enough for you, I dunno what is. But I loves it. I loves it so <333 And then there's The Orange Box which holds, WHOA HOLD UP THERE, five - count 'em - FIVE different games in it :o It's intense. Well, actually it's contains an already- released Half-Life 2 and Half-Life 2: Episodes One and Two (but it is one of the topped rank games ever, so it should be good anyway, the barely-an-hour-long kick-ass puzzle game Portal and the multiplayer Team Fortress 2. All are first-person shooters, but I've only played Portal which has got to be the greatest thing since canned bread. It is awesome. So simple, yet so awesome. You see, you wake up in this place called Aperature (then something else after it, dunno) and then you're guided by this wonderfully awesome mechanically feminine voice through ninteen different test chambers using this Portal device. (has an official name, I think, too lazy to check) The deal is, you shoot it, and either an orange or blue oval (depending on which button is pressed) will pop up on any wall that you shoot it at that will accept these portals, which are just big enough for you to get through. Then you shoot another, the opposite colored oval will pop up. Now, here's an example of how this works: You shoot a portal at the way next to you. Then you shoot a portal at the ceiling. Go through the portal in the wall, come out the portal in the ceiling. And you use this to solve the puzzles. Theennnn BIOSHOCK, I will speak geekery about next. Also a first-person shooter SUPPOSEDLY THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE. It takes place in an underground utopia in the 1960s that was built by some dude who wanted to make this big haven for smart people (scientists, ect...). But everything went wrong. EVERYTHING. And you play this guy who's boat is destroyed and swims to this lighthouse (seemingly the only logical thing to do when anything and everything else that made up the boat is engulfed in flames) which leads to the place the guy built: Rapture. I knew it would be creepy, but it like, never actually scares me THAT much. It's really unnerving though, when you can HEAR the people TALKING but don't know where they're coming from 'cause, damn, it's dark and dismal down there. By the way, these people are psychotic murderers that wear bizarre, bloodied masks. One fellow doned a bunny mask. And then the one I can't play, Panzer Dragoon, is a rail shooter in which you control a bad-ass lookin dragon in a lush sci-fi universe... or whatever >_> And then Mass Effect is also full of sex. I mean seriously, supposedly there's sex in it ._. RPG set in the distant future. Think Star Wars, only instead of lightsabers, you get GUNZ and SHINY ARMZ. And there are no Wookies screeching in your face. Only various alien species that speak in pleasant North American dialect. You can choose whether your character is a man or a woman, their facial features (think Sims, only in a sci-fi universe), backstory... But the best part about it is that the cutscenes are entirely interactive. So, if it's your turn to say something, you can choose from a variety of different sayings, which will be completely different being said by your character, but have the same basic concept in mind. Like, "You're a coward" would be "You left your whole sqaud behind to die while you hid behind crates?" (nearly exact thing said in game, paraprashing here). And all of this that you chooce will create a ripple-effect throughout the world and determine what is to come. My character is tough-ass bitch-lady with facial scars and a bad attitude. Hellyes.

Sadly, leaving on a depressing note, but I feel the need to say this.

The other night, I was out with my mom getting dogfood and was reminded of something that I had been wanting to ask her for awhile. My house dog, Zip had been hit by a car and I was lucky enough to see it.

Me: So, we got Zip cremated, right? When are we gonna go pick up her ashes?
Ma: *looks at me like I have four heads* What? We got her (insert word here I can't remember).
Me: ...What's that mean?
Ma: She was cremated with a whole group of dogs. You don't get the ashes back. I'm sorry, we didn't discuss it with you, I guess we should have. I've never gotten any of my dogs cremated individually.

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot Zip was just like every other dog you've ever had. I guess it doesn't matter that Zip was my one and only house dog. Honestly, I don't even think we properly greaved for her or anything like that. It seemed such a short time before ma was looking up on the internet for another dog. And Australian Cattle Dog, nontheless. "Oh, I like the breed." Oh, well, if that's how it's going to be, we're not getting another blue one, go on a get another red one (I lied, we had Spike, a red australian cattle dog, but that was more like mom's personal dog. Followed her everywhere, like a cattle dog is supposed to.) Speaking on the subject of what a proper Australian Cattle Dog should be, Zip was retarded. I'm not kidding. There was something mentally wrong with her, because she did nothing an Australian Cattle Dog should do. But it's not her fault she was tied up and left for dead, the chain of her collar digging into her neck to leave a permanent scar. She was messed up, but she was one helluva dog. My one helluva dog, and mom goes and burns her with a bunch of other mutts, reminiscenent of what they did back in the day with peasants when bodies were piling up from one plague or another, and they had to dig great big ditches, toss 'em all in, and set 'em aflame. Nice.